MIAPLESTIORY

----MiapleStiory----
"MIAPLESTIORY IS BASICALLY FOOKIN AROUND AND ANNOYIN THE SUPERPROS WHO ARE ACTUALLY THE GAMES CREATORS THEYRE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN GO BEYOND LEVEL 17 I THINK SO WHAT YOU BASICALLY DO IS PRESS THE DOWN ARROW AND CONTINUOUSLY PRESS "C" WHEN YOU SEE OTHER PLAYERS. THEN THEYLL MAKE SOME WEIRD FACE AT YOU AND YOU CAN FOLLOW EM AROUND AND PISS THEM OFF WITH TRADE REQUESTS UNTIL THEY SAY EFF OFF THEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE A FACE AND RUN OFF BEFORE THEY REPORT YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOUVE WASTED 5 HOURS ON MAPLESTIORY.


just my two cents worth on MAPLESTIORY THE MMORPG AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT MMORPG IS I THINK ITS SHORTFORM FOR "My MORphing Pig, Gahh." or "MamaMia...Oh fook MORe PiGgs."BECAUSE THATS WHAT IT IS THE GAME ENDLESSLY SPAWNSPIGS WHY ISSIT CALLED MAPLESTIORY THERE ISSNIT ANY MENTION OF ANY MAPLE TREES OR SYRUP IN THE GAME. ITS MORE ABOUT SMASHIN DEFENCELESS WILDLIFE SENSELESS.".
~Ahh very amusing excerpt from EmLoquace.

Let me explain more clearly then, shall I?

Point of the Game

The point of the game is basically to get higher and higher into the 'Maple Tree', which reflects on being high in general. Monsters drop snail shells, which you crush and inject into your bloodstream, making you more high.
A rather pleasurable experience.

Leveling

As mentioned earlier, the whole point of the game is to hump a tree...While doing drugs.

With each level you gain, you must battle a boss.

First Level Boss:Green Snail
Advice:Stop it from crawling through any public orfices and stomp on it immediately.

Second Level Boss:Blue Snail
Advice:Same as green snail, although it has 7 more HP.


Third level is really hard...A red snail. Loads more HP (30 more) and can do extreme damage (4-8's) when let to crawl into body through orifices.


Level four, you must battle a Crog, a demented kind of a frog that flies and does ~2000 damage with black lightning... Also has 100,000 HP.

Job Advancement

Jobless people are considered n00bs. At level 10, you choose your first job. The four jobs are: Pimp, Raper, Addict, and Seller. There is a town for every 1st job. 2nd jobs are considered PRO. PRO's are nerds who don't have a life, or people who don't have any money/connections to buy real drugs.

Pimps
Most people become Pimps to do PQ in Kerning City, or Pimp Town as it is called.

Sellers
Actually better than pimps but more popular. Go to Ellinia, or Teh Drug Base.

Raper and Addicts
Most homosexual, mentally retarded, or just fucking stupid people choose those. Rapers reside in a town called Perion, which is a favorite town to visit by the Pimps to stock up on whores and strippers.


2nd Job Advancement
Extremely kewl. some jobs include: Alchohol sellers, Amphenamines sellers, or Health Pot specialists(for Sellers),Pokeee Rapers, Goth Rapers, or Pervert Rapers.(for Rapers), Thugs or Snipers for Pimps, and Crackpots or Crackheads for Addicts.



A certain code is used when referring to these more advanced drug dealers. For example, Alcohol sellers are called F/P wizards, which stands for Firepoison Importers, which is an extremely deadly poison. Pokee Rapers are known for using their sharp sticks, or spears, to rape kids, as shown in the picture below.











Skills

Skills are basically hallucinations that appear on your screen, making it appear as if you are doing more damage rather than swaggering with a sharp stick and murdering plants. As you get higher into the 'Maple Tree', your hallucinations improve tremendously.



Beginner Skills:


Meth Overdose
Effect: Injects abnormal amounts of terrestorone into your body, increasing speed by 20% for 3.560 seconds.



Pot Hallucination
Effect: Throws an uncrushed snail shell at the offending wildlife and hallucinates great damage

As its considered a 'n00b skill' and thus not so addictive, they can only be used once 5-10 minutes.



n00b
The details of this random event is widely known;

1): a noob comes up to you and types in something along these lines: "H3y d00000d, wussup, f4m3 /\/\3 p10X!!!", and

2): the same noob usually pushes the down button about twenty times per second, while standing over you; making the image of his/her character raping you.

The proper reply should be:

"Fucking noob, stop raping me or i'll report you!" or:

"Fuck off, midget; you're not nerdy enuff".

These replies of course can get you banned from the game, which makes the n00b random event a dreadful one.