Protection from Hackers guide

As you know a lot of people's personal computers have been hacked lately.

This guide will give you basic pointers for protection.

Firstly, what are hackers. There are a few meanings, but I shall state some relavant to this context.

1) A asylum escapee who goes around hacking up dead animals.

2) Addicts to games like Maplestory who go around meaninglessly hacking wildlife with sticks, wood sticks, sharp metal sticks, blunt metal sticks, sharp wood stick, curvy wood stick, feather stick, bomb feather stick, iron sharp feather stick and all other assortment of sticks.

3)Long term addict of huffing which results in compulsive coughing up of dead ferrets when touched by an oyster.

4)People who write viriuses and spam inboxes and other funny stuff.


---Protection-----

1) Always set up your firewall, it'll come in useful.

An example below(please read the whole thing. By the way I got this from the net):

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
bitchchecker: why you kick me i bet my dota can own your ass
Elch:you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit
(Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker: what ping man the timing of my pc is right
bitchchecker: you banned me
bitchchecker: amit it you son of a bitch
LOL
bitchchecker: shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
bitchchecker: when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
Elch:You're a real computer expert
bitchchecker: shut up i hack you
Elch:ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
bitchchecker: tell me your network number man then you're dead
Elch:Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
Elch:or maybe 127.0.0.1
Elch:yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
bitchchecker: in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
Elch:Now I'm frightened
bitchchecker: shut up you'll be gone
bitchchecker: i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
bitchchecker: say goodbye
Elch:to whom?
bitchchecker: to you man
bitchchecker: buy buy
Elch:I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop


bitchchecker: dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
Elch:lol
Elch: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
bitchchecker: you're so stupid man
bitchchecker: say buy buy
Metanot: ah, [Please control your cussing] off
bitchchecker: buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop


bitchchecker: elch you son of a bitch
Metanot:bitchchecker how old are you?
Elch:What's up bitchchecker?
bitchchecker: you have a frie wal
bitchchecker: fire wall
Elch:maybe, i don't know
bitchchecker: i'm 26
Metanot:such behaviour with 26?
Elch:how did you find out that I have a firewall?
Metanot: tststs this is not very nice missy
bitchchecker: because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
bitchchecker: be a man turn that shit off
Elch:cool, didn't know this was possible.
bitchchecker:then my virus destroys your pc man
He: are you hacking yourselves?
Elch:yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
Metanot: he bitchchecker lame if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
bitchchecker: yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall bitchchecker: like a girl

Metanot: Firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
He: Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
bitchchecker: turn the firewall off then i send you a virus
Elch:[Please control your cussing]er

Metanot: bitchchecker why he turn it off, you should turn it off
bitchchecker: you're afraid
bitchchecker: i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
bitchchecker: elch turn off your shit wall!
Metanot: i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
bitchchecker: shut up
Elch:lol
bitchchecker: my grandma surfs with fire wall
bitchchecker: and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall
Elch:bitchchecker, a colleague showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
Metanot: bitchhacker can't hack
bitchchecker: wort man
Elch:: I'm still waiting for your attack!
Metanot:how many times again he is no hacker
bitchchecker: man do you want a virus
bitchchecker: tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
Metanot:lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
Elch:127.0.0.1
Elch:it's easy
bitchchecker: lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
bitchchecker: and are the first files being deleted

Elch:i'll take a look
bitchchecker: don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
Elch:that's bad
bitchchecker: elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
Elch:yes, there's nothing i can do about it
bitchchecker: and in 20 seconds f: is gone
bitchchecker: tupac rules
bitchchecker: elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
bitchchecker: and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
Elch:why doesn't meta say anything
He: he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
> ^^
bitchchecker: your d: is gone
He: go on BITCH
bitchchecker: elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
bitchchecker: i'm already at c: 30 percent
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) (Quit timeout #)


2) Do not use your computer at night, as hackers will attempt to suck your blood through your computer due to their vampiristic nature.

3) Never give out your address. Only your IP can be given out.

4) Wipe your screen with a fat slab of medium-done sirloin everyday so that the hackers' hacking script can't diffuse into your computer as the fat is non-permeable.

---Environmental Message---
(Brought to you by World Script-kiddies Organisation, WSO)

Due to the increasing number of hackers around the world, the poor innoncent script-kiddies are being made scapegoats for the henious crimes hackers commit. It is noted that only 2,220 script-kiddies are left in the world, with just 156 in capitivity. Excessive poaching has reduced their numbers drastically and coupled with the unbalanced male to female ratio, 1:623000000000, they are on the brink of extinction. Artificial insemination and IVF( In-Vagina-Fucking) have been implemented, but more needs to be done.

DO YOUR PART FOR THE SCRIPT-KIDDIES.
DONATE SOME MONEY TODAY!
PLEASE GO TO WWW.SCRIPTKIDDIES.COM.EU.GOV.EDU.COM. (Ping timeout#)